Salesman

A few weeks ago, the kids and I went to the Johnson County Fair. We go because it's free and fun. We like going through the exhibition hall, looking at the booths, getting freebies for our goodie bag, and signing up for chances to win something cool. A week ago, I got a call telling me that I had won a small air humidifier. Sweet. I wanted one for the kids' room in the winter when noses tend to dry out and they get bloody noses. So to get this fabulous prize, all I have to do is have someone come out to deliver it to me and then listen to them as they show me their bigger option. Okay, I think I can do that. BUT, Aaron has to be there with me for the presentation. That should have tipped me off on to what was to come. Sigh.

Depsite the fact that they had called me three hours previous to the appointment to confirm, I had completely forgotten about it until the man showed up at my door last night at 8:00 - meaning Aaron was taken by surprise. Sorry Aaron. And so begins our night.

What they don't tell you on the phone is that their bigger model is WAY more than a humdifier/air purifier. It easily converts into a VACUUM CLEANER! And thus begins the vacuum sales pitch for the next TWO HOURS. They do all sorts of groovy tricks, like pulling out all sorts of dirt and nasties from your carpet and couch after you have used your own vacuum over one small spot to show you how inferior your vacuum is. They show you all the ways your vacuum is a piece of absolute junk in comparison to their far superior vacuum. They word phrases and questions just right so you have to agree with them or risk looking like you enjoy living in a pig sty. I have to admit, I was super impressed with the vacuum. I've sat through Kirby presentations before (this is the Rainbow company), and while they have a good product, if I had to choose between the two, I would definitely choose a Rainbow. It is much superior to Kirby. Sorry any Kirby lovers out there. If I was in the market for a high end vacuum, a Rainbow is what I would get.

The problem is that I don't have $2100 set aside for the purchase of a vacuum cleaner. Ken, the salesman, said that isn't a problem, as they have a payment plan available with 12 months, same as cash - only make minimum payments of $72/month. So we explained a little more clearly. We do not voluntarily put ourselves into debt. If we don't have the funds saved up ahead of time, we do without until we have the money. Ken didn't seem to understand our point and kept trying in various ways to make this "investment" seem completely logical. He tells me most people spend $20 a month on air fresheners (seriously?) and with this system you wouldn't have to do that anymore - it would pay for itself in 15 years. At this point I told him I pay maybe $5 a YEAR on air fresheners. Switch tactics now. So we don't buy on credit. What would we do if our fridge broke down. Well, we tell him, we have money set aside in an emergency fund for things like that and we would pay cash. So, he says, you would pay $800 to protect $100 worth of food versus $2100 to protect $8000 of your house over the course of 15 years? His calculations to get to that $8000 number were quite different from our actual costs/lifestyle. We do not buy a $250 vacuum every four years, nor do I spend $20 a month on cleaning supplies, or $20 a month on air fresheners. And yes, I would spend $800 to protect $100 worth of food because I know that I will be protecting not just that $100 worth of food at the moment, but the next $100, and the next $100, and so on for the next 20 years - at a meager $100 a month of food protection, that comes out to $18,000 over the next 15 years. My fridge investment is far superior to your vacuum "investment". On and on he went, trying to make us see the folly of our ways, while we steadfastly and resolutely answered him and countered him. Finally, I think he realized there would be no sale, and began to pack up. But as he did, he continued to bring up points of how we could afford this. Most families buy a large pizza for their family once a week coming to around a $1000 a year - really? We don't. Many people stop at convenience stores and get a pop, coffee, and/or donuts every work day - that's almost $800 a year!. Hmm... we don't - that's unhealthy! FINALLY, at 10:15, he walked out our door. Our evening was gone and it was past the time we had wanted to go to bed. But, on the bright side, we still had $2100 in our bank account, a big stain had been nicely cleaned out my carpet, and we felt happy with our lot in life, despite the fact that our current vacuum cleaner sucks.