Piano Angst
I had such a busy weekend this past week, that I didn't have time to adequately prepare for school this week. So each day is feeling like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. It's definitely not what I had envisioned happening this early in the school year. Usually that happens more towards May when all I want to do is be done with school and be outside puttering in my yard and garden. So I have skipped a few things here and there this week that I just haven't prepared and it filled me with some anxiousness. It's not that I'm worried about my kids being left behind in their education. In all honesty, they are quite ahead in just about everything. But the things I have skipped this week are the things I have been striving hard to add back in (art, music, more science and history fun). These are the things that will help round them out as people instead of just focusing on the head knowledge.
So we started piano lessons last week and they did really well and liked it. Even Abby, who can't bear the thought of being left out of something school related, enjoyed it and did well for a 4 year old. Lessons were supposed to happen yesterday, but they didn't. Why? Part of it was that I was crazy busy and had piles of things to get done for a meeting later on that evening. But I'm sure I could have squeezed it in. I keep being filled with a sense of dread about piano lessons. I'm not sure why. I was a fairly accomplished pianist in my day, so I am not lacking in knowledge when it comes to teaching my kids piano. But I think I have some leftover piano angst from my early years. I took lessons for two years when I was young. I HATED them. My piano teacher had the personality of a block of wood and brought all that with her to piano lessons. I detested everything about piano lessons. So finally after two years of suffering, my mom let me quit. I was so relieved.
But then, my life changed. Until 2nd grade, I shared a room with my big sister. But she was entering 8th grade and really didn't want to share a room with a pesky little sister anymore, so I was kicked out. The only room available was the "family room" aka the room downstairs that no one went in, that had turned into a storage room. So once that was cleaned out, I moved in down there. It was a little scary at night time going downstairs to sleep when everyone else was upstairs, but it had it's perks too. I had my very own 1/2 half bathroom right next door. It was also a very large room. So large in fact, that my bedroom could contain not only my bed, but a couch, a recliner chair and the piano. I felt like I had my own little apartment - minus the fact that I didn't have a kitchen or know how to cook.
The piano in my bedroom turned out to be something quite important to me. I began to dink around on the piano while playing in my room. I looked through my old music books and began to play the songs again. Those got easy, so I went on in my book. I was able to play more and more complicated pieces the more I practiced. It became a passion of mine. I would spend literally several hours every day in the safe calmness of my room and play my heart out. It was a theraputic thing for me to do. I eventually started taking piano lessons again when I hit 8th grade, but this time with a teacher who cared and excited my passion for music.
So, back to my own children...Why do I struggle to give my kids piano lessons? Maybe I'm afraid that I'll turn them off from music. Maybe I'm afraid they won't share the passion I had for playing piano. Maybe I'm afraid they will dread piano time like I did at first. Maybe they won't understand the joy of losing yourself for hours at the piano. Maybe I won't be able to communicate to them in a way that encourages a love of music. Well... so what? My children are not me. I can't expect them to view the world as I see it. My job as parent and as a teacher is to release THEIR potential, not mine. So if they hate piano, is it really going to be all that bad? Not really. If I can help them find a different passion for them to pursue, it will be okay. And it will free up the piano for those who do love it.
So enough pondering for now. I'm needed to get school back in session. Recess is over!
So we started piano lessons last week and they did really well and liked it. Even Abby, who can't bear the thought of being left out of something school related, enjoyed it and did well for a 4 year old. Lessons were supposed to happen yesterday, but they didn't. Why? Part of it was that I was crazy busy and had piles of things to get done for a meeting later on that evening. But I'm sure I could have squeezed it in. I keep being filled with a sense of dread about piano lessons. I'm not sure why. I was a fairly accomplished pianist in my day, so I am not lacking in knowledge when it comes to teaching my kids piano. But I think I have some leftover piano angst from my early years. I took lessons for two years when I was young. I HATED them. My piano teacher had the personality of a block of wood and brought all that with her to piano lessons. I detested everything about piano lessons. So finally after two years of suffering, my mom let me quit. I was so relieved.
But then, my life changed. Until 2nd grade, I shared a room with my big sister. But she was entering 8th grade and really didn't want to share a room with a pesky little sister anymore, so I was kicked out. The only room available was the "family room" aka the room downstairs that no one went in, that had turned into a storage room. So once that was cleaned out, I moved in down there. It was a little scary at night time going downstairs to sleep when everyone else was upstairs, but it had it's perks too. I had my very own 1/2 half bathroom right next door. It was also a very large room. So large in fact, that my bedroom could contain not only my bed, but a couch, a recliner chair and the piano. I felt like I had my own little apartment - minus the fact that I didn't have a kitchen or know how to cook.
The piano in my bedroom turned out to be something quite important to me. I began to dink around on the piano while playing in my room. I looked through my old music books and began to play the songs again. Those got easy, so I went on in my book. I was able to play more and more complicated pieces the more I practiced. It became a passion of mine. I would spend literally several hours every day in the safe calmness of my room and play my heart out. It was a theraputic thing for me to do. I eventually started taking piano lessons again when I hit 8th grade, but this time with a teacher who cared and excited my passion for music.
So, back to my own children...Why do I struggle to give my kids piano lessons? Maybe I'm afraid that I'll turn them off from music. Maybe I'm afraid they won't share the passion I had for playing piano. Maybe I'm afraid they will dread piano time like I did at first. Maybe they won't understand the joy of losing yourself for hours at the piano. Maybe I won't be able to communicate to them in a way that encourages a love of music. Well... so what? My children are not me. I can't expect them to view the world as I see it. My job as parent and as a teacher is to release THEIR potential, not mine. So if they hate piano, is it really going to be all that bad? Not really. If I can help them find a different passion for them to pursue, it will be okay. And it will free up the piano for those who do love it.
So enough pondering for now. I'm needed to get school back in session. Recess is over!
Loved your site today. I don't think you have to worry about you being a "block of wood". I hope the block of wood isn't one of your "blog friends." HA ! I think she also turned off your brother and sister from the piano too! How is that for a record???? I do remember going to one recital at her house and how WELL you played. The other parents grumbled under their breath about how their children had a "life" and how you probably lived on the piano...didn't have the heart to tell them that you had just barely started lessons and you had a "life" too besides piano....shall we say sour grapes???? :) Let the chips fall where they will. I think you will show your children your love for the piano and if they make it their own fine...if not...they will find something they can be passionate about. Don't worry.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, Your funny! Wow, I use to play piano as well but never considered giving lessons to my children. You are amazing!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean a block of wood? Mrs. McWhatever her name was the most dynamic human I have ever met. You are crazy.
ReplyDelete