How Do They Know?
Babies seem to have a sixth sense about when it's a good time to have the most massive poop blowout imaginable. They prefer to not do it in the comfort of their own home where plenty of extra clothes, wipes, diapers, rubber gloves, mops, buckets, disinfectant and washing machines are at hand. Oh no, that would be too easy. Instead, they prefer to challenge their parents' skills to the max by picking the most inopportune time possible. Keilah chose to challenge me in just that way yesterday at my doctor visit. I had just finished my appointment and she was needing to eat, so they showed me to an empty room so I could nurse in private. Once we finished up with that, I went to change her diaper as Keilah had pooped.
In this move, I made three errors. The first was not waiting long enough to make sure she had completely emptied out her bowels. The second was in the transition of diaper to diaper. I often have the clean diaper under her and shielding her bottom as I clean up the mess of the first diaper. However this time, I was not as careful and did not have diaper number two in it's proper place as a shield. Thus, my third and final error was the placement of my own physical body that lined up perfectly with her little rear end. Once the stars had been properly aligned, Keilah let loose with her first (and hopefully last) projectile poop. Not only did it get all over my shirt and pants, but I quickly and instinctually moved out of the way so that she could finish with splatting on the floor as well.
So there I stand, covered in poop, with the floor covered in poop, with a happy, but messy little baby in an unoccupied doctor's office. There were a few moments of stunned silence as I tried to figure out what my next moves would be and who or what to clean up first. Keilah's bottom was the obvious choice to clean first to get that baby bottom covered up before anything else erupted. Once she was taken care of and stowed away in her car seat, I set to work cleaning up myself. Thankfully, I had a tank top on underneath my shirt, so I just shucked my outer shirt and went about like it's completely normal to wear just a tank top when it's 34 degrees outside. My pants were another story and though I cleaned it up as best as I could, you could still see exactly where she had let loose on me. Finally, it was on to mop the floor. Thankfully, there was a sink with plenty of paper towels available to help me clean up. I wiped and mopped and washed everything I could and then let the nurse know on my way out about what had happened so she could go back and sterilize everything, all the while apologizing profusely.
I am now quite leery of her cute, but deadly little bottom and keep that thing covered and shielded at all times. But I should really only worry about it when we are away from home as she doesn't seem to feel the need to test my parenting skills when we are in the comfort of our own home. And on a happier and somewhat unrelated note, Keilah now weighs 10 lbs. 6 oz. and is 22 inches long. Yea for growing little girls!
Have you ever had any public blowouts like that with your kids? Share the love!
In this move, I made three errors. The first was not waiting long enough to make sure she had completely emptied out her bowels. The second was in the transition of diaper to diaper. I often have the clean diaper under her and shielding her bottom as I clean up the mess of the first diaper. However this time, I was not as careful and did not have diaper number two in it's proper place as a shield. Thus, my third and final error was the placement of my own physical body that lined up perfectly with her little rear end. Once the stars had been properly aligned, Keilah let loose with her first (and hopefully last) projectile poop. Not only did it get all over my shirt and pants, but I quickly and instinctually moved out of the way so that she could finish with splatting on the floor as well.
So there I stand, covered in poop, with the floor covered in poop, with a happy, but messy little baby in an unoccupied doctor's office. There were a few moments of stunned silence as I tried to figure out what my next moves would be and who or what to clean up first. Keilah's bottom was the obvious choice to clean first to get that baby bottom covered up before anything else erupted. Once she was taken care of and stowed away in her car seat, I set to work cleaning up myself. Thankfully, I had a tank top on underneath my shirt, so I just shucked my outer shirt and went about like it's completely normal to wear just a tank top when it's 34 degrees outside. My pants were another story and though I cleaned it up as best as I could, you could still see exactly where she had let loose on me. Finally, it was on to mop the floor. Thankfully, there was a sink with plenty of paper towels available to help me clean up. I wiped and mopped and washed everything I could and then let the nurse know on my way out about what had happened so she could go back and sterilize everything, all the while apologizing profusely.
I am now quite leery of her cute, but deadly little bottom and keep that thing covered and shielded at all times. But I should really only worry about it when we are away from home as she doesn't seem to feel the need to test my parenting skills when we are in the comfort of our own home. And on a happier and somewhat unrelated note, Keilah now weighs 10 lbs. 6 oz. and is 22 inches long. Yea for growing little girls!
Have you ever had any public blowouts like that with your kids? Share the love!
No public blow-out but one middle of the night blow out with a sibling whom shall remain nameless. It shot all the way across the room and hit the piano. Trying to hold a baby and find the things I need in a darkened room...all the while your father slept about 20 foot away..oblivious to all of the goings on !!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMost definitely! Each of the girls had at least one tragic diaper event that required dramatic efforts to clean! We look back on them and laugh now, but at the time, it was traumatic! I was laughing loudly as I was reading your tale, in a "been there, done that", sense of laughing :)
ReplyDeleteShe is just getting you back into "baby mode." Oh how quickly we forget :)
ReplyDeleteJared had a major blow out during his baby dedication at church..Joe just stood there with his hand holding Jared's bottom until it was over!! His little outfit was so stained I dont think we were able to keep it!
ReplyDeleteI just remember when my oldest son, just a couple weeks shy of his first birthday, had a gastrointestinal bug and pooped and/ or vomited on everything I owned. I had to take him to the hospital wearing my (now ex) husband's clothes. He was in there for three days! Sick little guy. Lucky it was 1980s and not 1880s or he probably would not have survived the dehydration! Yeah IVs!
ReplyDeleteOh.my.word. We never had anything that even compares to that. I'll gird myself for the future.
ReplyDeleteWhen reading this I just was like stunned and then laughed and then tried to think of something that came close to something so awful. We've been fortunate to be home when it has happened. But always remember that it makes for funny stories later to share with your little gal. :)
ReplyDelete