Benefits of A Personal Shelf

Here I am with one week to go before my due date.  Will I ever stop being pregnant?  I would like to think so, but it sometimes feels like I'll be forever pregnant.  Isn't Abby cute peeking around my tummy?

With the finish line in sight, and my work on trying to stay positive these last few days, I thought I'd take a moment to discuss the benefits of having your own personal shelf (aka big belly). 

1.  The best benefit is having a place to hold things when sitting down.  It's great to rest a cup of tea on top, or your dinner plate if you decide to not eat at a table.  It also serves well for a book holder or any electronic devise.  Having this shelf greatly reduces arm fatigue from having to hold up your own possessions.

2.  My shelf also serves as a pants protector.  Before I got this shelf, I would constantly spill things on my pants when eating.  No more!  My shelf is my own personal pants protector.  No more unsightly stains on my jeans.  They now rest proudly on the ledge of my shelf. 

3.  Door stopper.  My shelf keeps me from flinging wide a door with exuberance.  I must remember to carefully open doors while maintaining a 3 foot clearance.  If I stand too close, my shelf will kindly remind me that doors must be opened with care.

4.  Hugger deterrent.  Tired of pesky people giving you full frontal hugs?  With a large shelf, those hugs are nearly impossible to achieve.  Side hugs have to suffice.

5.  Hamstring saver.  No more pulled hamstrings from bending at the waist to pick things up off the floor.  My shelf prevents all sorts of injuries as bending over at the waist is now impossible.

6.  Small child magnet. I have quite a shelf following.  At church, there are rarely fewer than 3 little girls hugging, kissing, petting, and talking to my shelf at all times.  In Abby's school classroom where I volunteer weekly, my shelf is quite the attention getter.  I wonder if the kids will like me as much once this amazing wonder has ceased.

7.  Counter cleaner.  There's no more dripping water down the cupboard when doing dishes.  My shirted shelf greedily soaks up all spilled dish washing water, preventing any from reaching the floor.

8. Personal body warmer.  Usually I am super cold by this time of the year as the weather heads toward winter.  This year it is not so.  While Aaron shivers in bed with piles of blankets on him, I sweat with a sheet and one small blanket.  It's weird.  And kind of nice.

9.  Excuse generator. People happily generate excuses for me in all sorts of situations. They insist on doing my work for me, letting me off the hook when I space out on a commitment, having me sit down, get me things, help out with my responsibilities.  It's quite lovely.  I rarely have to pull the "but I'm pregnant!" card.  I occasionally try it with Aaron when I'm feeling particularly obnoxious.  He seems to know when I'm just being a whiny butt to when I really just need a break. This past week though, he's been extra helpful as I majorly slow down physically. 

Can you think of any other benefits of a shelf for me?  I gotta enjoy it now before it goes away!