Do Over

I needed a do-over today. Today is the first day back to school following a fun Christmas break. Today is also the first day of Ana's new year of homeschooling. We (Ana and I) have been mulling over this decision for quite some time together and after much thought, conversations, and prayer, we decided to go for it at the beginning of 2015. She's excited about it and I am too. Last night, as I was getting things ready and organized for the week ahead, I had a lovely morning all planned out for us today. I would wake up a little earlier than the kids and actually make them breakfast for their school day. I would get Abby up and we would spend a little bit of time together before sending her happily off to school for the day. I would work on Biology with David while Ana quietly did her first day's work and Keilah happily ate breakfast. Then, I would take David to his class at the high school and come back to spend time with Ana going over math. It was so peaceful and lovely in my mind. But it didn't happen that way.

I heard Keilah crying at midnight and went up to investigate. I found Ana nearly in tears saying how Keilah has been crying off and on for almost an hour and a half (some mother ears I have - why Ana didn't come down to alert me, I don't know). So I sent Ana downstairs to sleep on the couch. Ana and Keilah share a bed, so Keilah fussing and crying keeps her very much awake. Keilah had a cold and was having a hard time breathing, but by lying down beside her in Ana's bed, with her mostly propped up and draped over my body, and using blankets that were much too short for me, she settled down into a fitful sleep for the rest of the night with me right by her side sleeping equally fitfully. I woke up at 8:22 - two minutes past the start of school for Abby. I woke Abby up and we zoomed frantically around the house and I dropped her off at school at 8:30 - eight minutes after waking up. Not the peaceful happy start to our day that I had imagined. Abby wolfed down a granola bar for breakfast. David and Ana ate cold cereal. I don't even know if Keilah had breakfast. I know I gave her milk. Did I feed her? Did I feed myself? Keilah fussed while David and I did biology. She whined and took away our dry erase markers while Ana and I did math. I was tempted to feel like a failure on this first day back to school because it didn't match up with my perfect expectation.

But does this day define the rest of our school year? No. Does it set the course for the rest of the year? No. Ana finished her first day and declared that she thinks she's going to like homeschooling again. I smiled. We had fun together despite the rough start. I still have some quiet time to myself in the middle of this day. David will soon be home from the high school and we'll finish up his school work together and enjoy the process. Keilah will wake up and be cute even when she doesn't feel the best. She will yell in excitement when Abby walks through the door home from school. My family will be together again and we will still love each other despite having a rough day. Today I am thankful for do-overs and for God's mercies being new every morning.